Spend most of the day writing letters for the boys, as for a long time I had this idea to give the boys all a copy of the brotherhood e.p , the first release on my own record label Wide Awake records ...
This name came from the song BAD which has always been a very important song for me and my brother Finsent.
For those who dont know, my dear brother Finsent passed away 5 years ago along with his girlfriend Michelle, Finsent and Michelle had this sad accident while they were on their first day of their snowboarding holiday in Alpe d'Huez france ....
It was the blackest day in my entire life, and ever since I have been trying very very hard to deal with this, actually if anything, it has made me live my life more than anything, doing what feels good each and every day, and actually, making the most of each day, cause before you know it, it can all be over, here and now ...
I call it being Wide Awake !!
After his death I decided to start a record label to keep his music "alive" the label is called Wide Awake Records, my brother and I had always been obsessed with making and playing music ourselves ... This label was gonna feature our own music, without any concessions, and for the record sleeves I was gonna use some of the amazing pictures Finsent had taken over the years, being a student at various art academies.
This is the record sleeve, front and back folded out ... the brotherhood ep
We played the song BAD on his funeral and then last week U2 played the same song in Amsterdam on the 21st July, while my parents were sitting behind the stage, and I was in front of it, crying my heart out ... man, it was emotional ... and healing at the same time !
So, after the amsterdam gigs I was gonna go to Dublin to see the boys play three times there ... I decided now was the time to give the boys a copy of the record, and write them a letter, explaining what and how .... I had brought four copies, each wrapped up in smiley paper and on the friday I had been writing the letters, all hand written, analog as hell ... On the thursday I had been to the Clarence hotel (owned by Bono and the Edge) to find out if I could drop the records there, and that was not a problem they said .... so on friday, before the gig, I went there, with a bag full of emotions
... And guess what ... they refused to pass it on ... no way ...
They told me they were under strict instructions not to accept any gifts for the band, what the f**k ? You can imagine I was very upset, I decided to ask for the manager before I was gonna be asked to leave the hotel .. no way I was gonna end up at the concert carrying this bag with me ... I mean, how could I enjoy the concert if I was to take care of the bag at the same time ? The manager came out and told me that they really could not take it, and that principle managements office was dealing with all PR things ... so I made clear that one of his members of staff had told me something totally different the night prior, and that I wanted a solution, he looked at me as if he saw water burning but he quickly realised I meant business here ....
He then pulled out this small map of the centre of Dublin, marked where I could find the Principle managements office and told me to go there. I made sure there would be somebody there, cause I was not gonna walk 30 minutes, and end up in front of a closed door ... and then I just told him once more that he needed to instruct his staff properly to avoid disappointing moments like these ... I had to ... and off I went ...
I walked fast, and soon reached the office, close to where the original studios were located, in an area that is almost considered holy for the u2 nutters .... I rang the bell and was let in ... The guy quickly made his way out of the office, meeting me before I could set foot inside the actual office, where I could see several memorabilia hanging at the walls ... ah well, I was not there for that ... I was on a mission ... I told him that I had brought 4 records, each with a personal letter, and if he could please make sure that the guys would get them .... and here we go .... he told me he could not ....... cause they did not accept any demo's .... ha ha .... he thought I was giving him a demo .... man .... that meant I had to pull out the whole history as described above .. and he soon realised it was totally not what he thought at first, he then took the bag, and promised me he would pass them on, I asked him again if he was really sure that they would get it, cause it WAS IMPORTANT to me !!! And he reassured me, they would definitely get the records !
And that was it, I could not do any more, I simply had to let it go .... it was my moment of surrender ...
I felt strange walking out of the building, towards Croke Park, and soon felt the need for some food ... decided to have a pizza before I entered the stadium and I simply needed some time to let it all fall into place ....
It felt good, I had realised another dream I had had for long, I felt very vey emotional and sad and happy at the same time .. a total charge - discharge experience!
I then went inside Croke Park for the first of three gigs I was gonna witness there, and it was electric, the stadium with its history of Sunday Bloody Sunday (the english had gunned down 18 Irish on the field, after the irish had killed several english spies the day before that) and the mad Irish that stay outside the actual stadium, cause they are not allowed to drink inside ... and if there is one thing they want to do ... it's drink ...
I got my spot in between the sound desk and the catwalk, right behind a few small italians, so I thought I was allright there ... I could see the stage and hear it all very well, the speakers that are hanging from the stage are long throw speakers, so you need to be a bit further away if you want to have a proper sound experience ..
the warmup bands were Damien Dempsey, an Irish bloke, singing his heart out, it was very impressive, and I actually bought 4 cd's to take home ! And Glasvegas, and the fact that I sat down, and they did not make me want to sit up, says anough ..
Then as the concert was to start, all hell broke out, here come the Irish Lads ... drunk as hell, ploughing and shoving, making their way to the front, they reckon they are Irish, and have any right to be at the front, but they were not gonna wait in line for hours, as all others had to get to where they were then .. ... shit man .. it was hell ... they made the whole field shift and before I knew it, there were tall lads in front of me, and the Italians were right beside me ... we could not see a thing ...
We soon decided to regroup, and it looked ok, untill the concerts started, here come the camera's F**KING hell !!! I HATE THEM I REALLY HATE THE CAMERA's !!!!!!!!!
People in front of us, holding their camera with two hands, so you could not see over their shoulder, nor their heads ... and as everyone was trying to see what was going on at the stage, the field was a continuous sight of moving and shifting bodies ... I soon took out my dextro energy tablets, broke them up and started throwing them at the camera's ... I was not gonna let them ruin my night , no way .... It took 4-5 songs and some proper aiming, but they soon realised I meant business, and most cameras stayed below head level then ... with the occasional exception offcourse, but that was ok ... I had to tell the german girl in front of me that she was really starting to piss me off with her camera, cause I could not loose myself in the moment as there was this shiny thing in front of me all the time ... she was pretty shocked by my directness, but I told her, that she had to do what she felt like doing, but that I was gonna do the same, and in this case that meant, tell her she was pissing me off !!
She harldy positioned here camera in front of my face after that, so that was the camera issue ....
Next ... there were too many folks there who seemed to be there to witness it all, but not participate .... they did not jump, they did not sing, they were more concerned about their newly bought t-shirts... they did not dare to place the bag on the ground, but decieded to haneg them from their belts, making the bag dingle back and forth all the time, and you can gues what, these bags were touching me all the time, acting like a total distraction, f**king hell .... another issue to deal with ... it meant I had to reposition myself, out of reach of the dangling bags ... but at the same time I had to make sure I was not gonna block anyones view ... so it took some strategising .... and all of this ... took away energy from the whole concert experience ... and man what a concert it was ..... What a setlist ...
They played the entire set they played in Amsterdam on the 21st July, with the addition of The Unforgettable Fire ... wow .... it was totally amazing ....
They also played BAD again .... on the day I dropped the records ....
It was not the same as it was in Amsterdam, logically .. as things had evolved !
But it still was amazing ... for one of my new made Italian friends, Gianluca (and his girlfriend Francesca) it was so touching .... we all dropped some tears, and had the time of our life ! I also met Francesco and Terri his girlfriend from Rome, I have a feeling I will see you all next year in Rome or Amsterdam or Dublin again .. !
For the last few songs I decided to say goodbye to my Italian friends, and get away from the crowded spot ... went all the way to the back of the field where I had loads and loads of space to dance and jump, without anyone getting upset that I was landing on their feet ... these wining and moaning idiots should stay home next time ... and watch the dvd from the comfort of their home ... please !!!
After Moment of Surrender .... I was a very happy man ! Glad I had decided to fulfill my dreams, dreaming out loud and going to Dublin to see the boys at their hometown !
Also, I decided there and then, that I was gonna try and get a spot close to the catwalk the next day, cause being there, meant no cameras, and a rail to hold onto, allowing me to jump even higher ... so as I was making my way round the stadium, I soon discovered a small group of people, waiting outside, and yes, they were the line for the second day .... I joined them, and waited insructions from the security guys.
They told us we could go home to get our tickets and airbeds etc but then we had to sleep inside Croke Park, as we could not stay in the streets outside the stadium, until they would move us onto the space in front of the stadium, so, after there seemed to be some confusion with another group of people that had decided to line up elsewhere .. we soon combined the two lines, and I ended up with nr 13 ... we went inside, found ourselves some pieces of cardboard to put on the cold ground, and started waiting, untill the moment would come where we could go to the hotel to get our stuff ... At first they changed their minds, locking up the gates, telling us we could not go outside untill 6am ... what the f**k ?? I was not gonna do that .. no way, I still had my contact lenses in and needed to get some sleep after this very emotional day. After 30 minutes they changed again, and allowed us to go out ... I walked back to the hotel, 45 minutes walk ... got my stuff, and sat down on the bed, re-thinking my plan ... was this the right thing to do ???? I then decided I only live once, so, let the adventure continue ... when would I have the chance again to sleep along with some nutters, inside Croke Park ? Making sure I would get the spot I wanted for teh next day .... so ... jumped under the shower and walked back to Croke ..
Blew up my airbed, got a piece of cardboard as my blanket, cause I did not have my sleeping bag, and tried to get some sleep ... man .. here I was .. inside Croke Park, amidst some new made friends that I had met in Barcelona, Milan and Nice ... and all in the same boat ... some were sleeping underneath their flags, some in a tent and me, underneath some piece of cardboard from a box, used for french fries ... ha ha ...
I slept for one hour, when we were all woken up ... and escorted to the the next holding spot .... more about that later .. cause after all ... it was the 25th.. day 2
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