the worst act ever ? no, I am not gonna give him that honour, but what an incredible experience it was ...
imagine this ....
It was the crackbeats night in the batcave in tilburg, a small dark place, being the third and smallest room in a big dance venue here, it's actually the place where I got de-virginized as a musician ! I like it !
This time I walked in and immediately noticed the visuals, two screens behind the dj stage where its normally a dark wall, refreshing ! Also there was a drumset on stage, looking promising .... This was actually not the "so to speak" worst act ever ... this one was ok, it turned out it was one man behind a laptop and one live drummer, nice to see, and well done at times the only thing was that the sound was very closed up .. maybe bad soundcard or what ?
Then it was time for the next act, and thats the one I am on about ... a guy from australia called rainbow ejaculation, yep, whats in a name, it turns out he also has a fetish for porn movies, big dicks and gay stuff .... all in rainbow colours offcourse, thats what the visuals tried to make clear I guess ... but the most offending part was this ...
He walks to the mixer to take over the controls and then he connects one end of the cable to to the mixer, and the other one, believe it or not, goes into his phone ! He then fiddles something with the cables of the mixer, it later turns out that made one channel into a dubbing channel, with the same signal, but overdriven ... he then presses play and the music starts .... soon there is a new record that gets sort of mixed in ... but all he does is flick the cross fader ... uhum ?? the mix goes on, and it is happy hardcore mixed with herman van veen (dutch folk singer) and other hits or not from any genre, mixed up, with the bpm changing all the time... fuck this ...
The sound quality is really damaging my ears, especially the harsh high frequencies ... and the sight of that guy, with an orange woolen hat over his face with two holes cut out, frantically playing with that cross fader and turning the frequencies without any real finesse ! I mean, if you then find a balanced spot between teh clean and distorted signal, and then do something interesting with phasing frequencies .. but no, offcourse, the mix would leave no room for that ... ... no way ....
I tried to make clear that I thought he sucked, putting up my arms expressing the whats this alll about man ? He waved it away, and after I looked at this idiot for 3 more minutes and then I decided to get up next to him, and pretended to be handling the turntable that was there, unused ... I wanted to make clear to him that I wanted him to either mix for real or go away .... man come on ... the mix he played had been downloaded three months ago by loads of people that were there ... some had even come to see him, and paid entrance and train etc ...and then he does this ! what a complete asshole ! I had a discussion later with a guy who also was playing later that night, maladroit he is called, dont know him, anyway .. it was ok to talk to him, hear about teh aussie scene and I guess it all remains a matter of personal taste ... but when I finally got my chance at teh end of his set, to boooo him away ! I did so ! Loudly !
fuck off and come back with records or cd's and mix live, for real ! then I will be abel to maybe enjoy your mix and choice of music, now, you give me no chance !
Ah, and yes, I wish I would have had your phone number that night !
but you probably turned that option off
professional that you are !
After I sat out his set, cause I wanted to hear eitherherd ... it was time for one more deception .... another great laptop act, frantically waving along with his liveset ... ableton I guess it was, but the way he was pre-reacting to the changes and stuff ... fuck off .. no live nottin .... it seemed he was fulfilling his own expectations ... and not surprising himself ... uhum ....
10 minutes and that was it ... off home .... with a bloody beep in my ears ..
